Coversation Partners: Meeting 6

           I intentionally titled this post conversation partner meeting six instead of calling it our final meeting, as it most definitely is not our final meeting. Ileana and I have enjoyed each other’s company so much, and we plan on meeting each other at least once again this week. She has finished up the semester with IEP, so she has a decent amount of free time.

            As far as the interview update goes, we don’t exactly know where she stands yet. Regardless, I still plan on helping her to strengthen her interviews. She definitely has the charisma and the ability to take on these jobs; she just needs to develop interview finesse. Hopefully this won’t take too much time to achieve, considering how quick she is to pick up on new topics.

            This time, she mainly wanted to talk to me. She knew that I had gone home for my grandfather’s funeral, so she wanted to make sure that I was emotionally okay. I explained that I don’t find these situations too difficult to deal with anymore and that I was actually much more concerned about the mental wellbeing of my mother instead. Even throughout the week, she has been texting me asking how my mother is doing and ensuring that the family is making it through this difficult time. It is incredible that she clearly deeply cares about my family and me considering we have only known each other for about a month and a half.

            As I reflect on my time this semester with Ileana, I feel truly grateful to have been able to participate in such a fantastic, eye-opening, and fun experience. I have learned about a new culture, new phrases, new ideas, and most importantly: new food. I hope I can continue to learn from Ileana as we both proceed in our academic journey, and I hope I can make more friends of diverse backgrounds, so I can continue my personal growth.

Learning about Myself: Dark Humor

           A few weeks ago, my grandfather passed away. This was my final grandparent. Yesterday, I found out that one of my friends from Midland with whom I swam competitively shot himself. Over the years, I have been to countless funerals for all of my grandparents, some great-grandparents, great-aunts and uncles, my uncle on my mother’s side, a few cousins, friends, family of friends, and my little sister. What did I get from all of this? Well I got a nice heavy dose of pessimism, but I also developed a dark sense of humor.

            My family typically uses humor as a shield to keep their emotions from getting out of control during such sad situations. I have known this for years, and I always would use humor with them as frequently as possible in order to calm them. Granted, they don’t exactly do a good job of calming themselves. I go home and our activities almost always involve death, whether it be attending another funeral, buying more flowers for the graveyard, mapping out where we all want to be buried, or looking for headstones for various family members who are still alive, death seems to be an unfortunate focal point in family activities.

            It would make sense for my family to also have a dark sense of humor, but for some reason I am the only one who uses humor in that regard. I believe this is because I have been continuously exposed to death during a critical time of development. Because I gained so much exposure to death, dark humor became rather simple. I never think much of it, but sometimes my friends point out things that I say that are “not okay.” Like when I sent my friend a selfie of my grandfather’s urn and me in the back seat of the car with the words “chilling with my grandpa in the back seat as usual.” However, this dark humor does not stop with the motif of death. It extends itself out to other touchy subjects. For example, I am writing a paper about the use of crystal meth by gay men as a subculture, so I went to Dallas and spent a few hours around a densely populated area of gay males. Within a 24-hour period, I was offered meth four times (I turned it down obviously). Instead of freaking out, I texted the same friend I mentioned earlier and said “Finding meth in the gay community is like finding a piece of hay in a haystack.” Apparently that isn’t an okay thing to joke about either. While many people find this side of my humor to be harsh and sometimes extreme, that part of me makes much more sense when it is put in the context of my life so far. Hopefully, the events of my life will lighten up and this humor will start to subside, but only the future knows.

             

Learning Moment: So Maybe I'm Judgmental

            A few weeks ago I went to a wedding. I love weddings. Well, I loved the one wedding that I had been to before this one and I love the wedding photos I see on Facebook at least. So I went to this one with the exact same expectations. Well when I got to the venue, I realized that not all weddings are created equal. This wedding was less than stellar, but I have included a list of the top 5 worst parts of the wedding below:

5. There were garage doors directly behind the couple as they got married.

4. The minister was an old man who tried to be a comedian and failed.

3. The bridesmaids AND THE BRIDE stomped down the aisle in cowboy boots. Classy.

2. The groom was found taking shots in the parking lot and the bride was clearly intoxicated less than an hour after the wedding. Again: classy.

And drum roll please……………

1. There was a twerking competition to Wrecking Ball. Epitome of class. I could not even handle this idea.

            So what did I learn from this? Well first of all, I learned what not to do at a wedding. But second of all, I learned that I am incredibly judgmental of everything and everyone. I don’t exactly do it intentionally, but I realized that throughout the wedding I would pass judgment on the bride, the groom, the minister, the other guests, the food, the music, the dancing, the venue, the bathrooms, the town around the venue, the cake, the chairs, the seating arrangement, the organization, the clothing, the informality, and the people who frequently used the open bar. As you can see, there was a lot of judgment. I honestly have no idea why this happens with me as frequently as it does, but hopefully I can gain more life experiences in the future that will help me to become less judgmental than I currently am.

Conversation Partners: Fifth Meeting

           I met with Ileana for the fifth time the other day, and we continued talking about having a cultural food night. This could be because we really want this to happen, or perhaps the fact that we have all of our meetings at lunchtime that we keep pushing the issue. Either way, it still sounds like a good idea to me! Anything with food is a welcome experience.

            We also talked about Ileana’s job search in the area. She wants to have a job and the recreation center or something of the like. Ileana loves sports and she plays seemingly all of them. If I haven’t mentioned that Ileana is incredibly athletic before, she is. I also may have neglected to mention that we always meet at NRG in the recreation center because she works out immediately after our conversations. Regardless, she is finding out that there is a slight language barrier that is preventing her from getting a job. It isn’t so much that she simply doesn’t know the language, but rather that she says different things that are expected because her English is not completely fluid yet. Essentially, she told the employer that she should get the job because she has a great body and likes sports. Because of this, we have been talking more about interviewing skills and working on improving her speech for those situations. Hopefully after enough time working on these skills, her interviews will improve and she can find local employment.

            Relating to the employment issue is the fact that living out here is more expensive than it is in Venezuela. She has expressed that while she does not need a job to live in Fort Worth, she does need a job to live with any degree of comfort in Fort Worth. So right now, I am dedicating some extra hours to helping her interview to the best of her capability. I’m rooting for her! I’ll be meeting her again later today, I can check up on how that interview process is going. Maybe things are beginning to look up in her job hunt.

Uncontrollable Laughter: Drag Queen Edition

            People who know me realize that I do not watch much television, considering I hardly have time to sleep. However, I do frequently watch one show: Rupaul’s Drag Race. While there is no show more stereotypical for individuals of my sexual orientation to watch, I am not ashamed to admit that I watch every single episode. The show itself, while funny, is not outrageously hilarious. What is outrageously hilarious, however, are the various images made by fellow fans and posted on Reddit.

            My best friend and I were browsing Reddit to find these images, and as usual, we found several that made us laugh uncontrollably. I try to think about why we find these images so fascinating, but I am at a loss for the reason. One of the images that made us laugh the most showed the scene from Mean Girls, where all of the girls are in the gym being asked about who has ever felt personally victimized by Regina George, except the face of Ms. Norbury was replaced by the face of Rupaul, the face of Regina George was replaced with the face of a drag queen Adore Delano, and the faces of many of the girls were replaced with various faces of the drag queen Laganja Estranga. The caption read “How many of you have felt personally victimized by Adore Delano?” This image surfaced less than a day after an episode of Rupaul’s Drag Race where Adore Delano, Laganja’s friend, called her out openly about being fake on the show and Laganja, mid-breakdown, shouted, “I feel v*** attacked!” and stormed off of the stage. This breakdown has resulted in the surfacing of dozens of gifs and images about Adore and Laganja, but this image has to be my favorite due to the direct tie to my childhood thanks to the Mean Girls reference.

            I do not exactly understand why the people of the Internet find so much joy in Laganja’s emotional turmoil, but nonetheless we do. Every week she was featured on the show, more images about her mental and emotional state surfaced on Reddit. While I do not find the images particularly malicious and believe that they are done in good humor, I frequently wonder how it makes Laganja feel. Hopefully she too takes it in good humor.

Conversation Partner: Meeting Four

            Ileana and I met the other night for the fourth time at Sol de Luna for a dinner before we each had different formal events to attend. Since Sol de Luna is a Venezuelan restaurant and Ileana is Venezuelan, we spent a long time discussing Venezuelan food. One of the many things Ileana and I have in common is our love of food. We both love trying new types of food and are enamored with cultural foods. For her, this meant eating burgers, hot dogs, and the like. For me, this meant trying tostones, empanadas, and (hopefully sometime soon) pepitos. Maybe it’s just because I have lived in the USA for my entire life, but I think I have the more exciting and palate-pleasing cultural experience.

            As usual, we discussed her progress in IEP, but we focused on it a bit more than usual considering last week was a major exam week for her. She said that all of her quizzes and exams went exceptionally well and that she cannot wait to continue her way through the program. If she continues at this rate, the program will not take too long for her to complete, allowing her to start her engineering coursework.

            While these were our only topics of discussion, I did notice something else about that evening. Quite a few people thought that Ileana and I were dating, which is sensible because I was wearing a suit and she was wearing a red, glittery formal dress; however, those who know me at all realize that these individuals are wrong in their notions. Regardless, I thought that was amusing. I also have a feeling that Ileana and I will not stop meeting after only six meetings. Since I will be living much closer to her next year, we can easily meet up on a more frequent basis. I am already starting to plan lunch dates for next semester where we can try some of the best food that each culture has to offer. We might even include some of the other IEP people I have met and just have a celebration of culture.

Conversation Partners: Third Meeting

            Yesterday I had another meeting with Ileana after a week of issues with her phone that she needed to be resolved. This time, we ate lunch together, which I have learned is a critical part of Venezuelan culture. It is nearly mandatory for everyone to share meals with others, as opposed to eating alone.

            Since Ileana is doing well with the English language, I have started using more advanced vocabulary, colloquial terms, and idioms. Considering we usually venture into the subject of social justice, she shared with me a phrase used frequently in Venezuela, “ojos vemos corazones no sabemos,” which roughly translates to “We see eyes, we don’t know hearts.” This played into our conversation on social justice and empathy well, and that phrase perfectly summarized my thoughts on the matter. She believes strongly that people should take the time needed to understand someone as they truly are, and not simply as the persona they present themselves to be to the general population. She also believes that people need to be more genuine and open about their unique qualities and idiosyncrasies. We both have noticed a lack of openness on the TCU campus, and believe that the educational experiences at the school could be enhanced if people lived openly and honestly without holding judgment over other individuals for being themselves. While I realize that this is wishful thinking, it would be a beautiful way to live life.

            So far, this experience has far surpassed all of my expectations. Not only have I met someone who is likeminded, but also I have made a good friend. We teach each other idiomatic expressions in our language, furthering my knowledge of Spanish and her knowledge of English. In addition, she brought me hazelnut-filled chocolates for the meeting. She said they are extremely popular in her country and that I had to try them. I see why they are so incredibly popular. Now I need to think of something Texan that she has yet to try!

Conversation Parters Part 2

            I had a second successful meeting with my conversation partner from Venezuela, Ileana. We opened up by talking about the economic climate of Venezuela and comparing it to that of the USA. After hearing about the situations in her country where people are not allowed to exchange money to USD without governmental permission and exorbitant exchange fees, and the outrageously high prices for items as simple as gum, I realized that I did not have much to complain about. She did mention, however, that the cost of living was higher than in Venezuela. We devised a scheme to smuggle suitcases full of Trident back to Venezuela in order to earn back some of the money spent on the cost of living in Fort Worth.

            After spending time talking about the economy, we moved onto several questions she had about grammar. She still has occasional issues with the future tense, but whenever I correct her, she never repeats a mistake. The people with IEP believe that she will finish the program in a rather short time frame. She hopes they are right.

            After an hour of talking, some of her friends from IEP joined us. There was a girl from China and a guy from Colombia. Both spoke English just as well as Ileana, and we discussed how the female really does look Chinese and not Korean, as she felt insulted about someone mistaking her for a Korean person. While I found this humorous, it was a serious topic of conversation.

            Thus far, my experiences with Ileana have been incredible. I am learning so much about her country and culture, and she is learning a lot about mine. The fact that we can converse for hours on end without realizing how much time has passed is a testament to how much we enjoy each other’s company. We have decided to meet at least twice a week now. Also, any person who offers to get me hot chocolate as a reward after my organic chemistry exam is a winner in my book.

Extracurricular Learning

            My biggest learning experience this semester thus far surprising does not even involve the classroom. After starting the semester, I realized that I do not associate myself with an extremely diverse group of people. In order to better understand issues associated with different social and cultural groups, I made the decision to go to a group that unites LGBT young men from ages 18-29 called DFW Fuse. While at first glance, the group does not appear to be tremendously diverse because it consists solely of LGBT men in a restrictive age group, it contains people of all racial, ethnic, religious, and socioeconomic backgrounds.

            Through a CLP seminar on privilege, I engaged in an activity where we could measure our privilege in comparison to the other cohort members in attendance. Out of the approximately 35 individuals in attendance, I was the fifth most privileged. If I were straight, I would have been the single most privileged person in the room. That was the eye-opening experience of the year for me. That’s when I chose to try to be more understanding of groups of individuals that are not given privilege in our society.

             When I finally decided to go to the group, I walked in to meet two guys, aged 26 and 29 who are both homeless. I talked to them for the next three hours, learning their perspectives and lifestyles. In one night, I was able to hear perspectives about people who have been kicked out of their homes by their parents, financially cut off by their families, and unable to find employment. Regardless of each person’s socioeconomic status, every guy there had a story. There were stories ranging from an individual whose parent’s did not accept him, so he found sanctuary in higher education and is now pursuing a PhD in Zoology to an individual who someone who was kicked out of his home as a teenager, was never able to keep a job, relies on government assistance, and is now a homeless heroin addict. While I am obviously unable to learn empathy in one day with these diverse individuals, I feel like I learned a lot that day. I plan on visiting the group at least once a week, and maybe I will eventually become a regular. I still have much to learn, but hopefully this will help.

Conversation Partners: It Begins

            After months of failed attempts to meet with my conversation partner, I was assigned a new, more eager partner. Two days after our initial email correspondence, we met outside of Rickel, the building hosting the IEP office. Considering my previous failed attempts at correspondence, I remained skeptical about actually meeting Ileana. However, after speaking with several people in the IEP office and hearing countless positive remarks about Ileana, I realized there was no reason to continue with my skepticism. Soon after, I met her and we conversed for about two hours.

            While two hours seems like a rather lengthy time to meet, we had an instant connection that made the time fly. Considering she had only left Venezuela two weeks ago, her English demonstrated decent knowledge of the language. Sometimes she would ask me what a certain word is in English, causing my ten years of Spanish classes to come in handy. She would always take time to think before speaking in order to ensure proper grammar. I never had difficulty understanding her during our conversation, which impressed me considering how new she is to the language.

            Our conversation mainly involved politics and religion, but it also contained a ten-minute segment about Blue Bell ice cream and how she hopes she can control herself around it to prevent herself from becoming obese. Her favorite flavor is Cookies and Cream thus far. In regards to politics and religion, she talked about her Catholic faith and her struggles with how obtuse the church can be on occasion. We then ventured into the realm of politics and realized that we have a tendency to agree on most political topics, which is quite a rare occurrence for me.

            I told her a bit about myself and my involvement on campus, which is when she asked me about Chancellor’s Leadership Program and my ideas to incorporate LGBT inclusivity into my legacy project. She gave me a look resembling that of a confused puppy. According to her, almost all individuals born within the last few decades are entirely accepting in Venezuela, so hearing about America being different surprised her. Needless to say, I loved hearing her perspective on that matter. I am incredibly excited to meet with Ileana again tomorrow afternoon!

Uncontrollable Laughter: Chemistry Edition

While most people's experiences with humor indubitably do not involve high volumes of chemistry, my life is loaded with humor experienced as a result of organic chemistry. More than likely, this results from the fact that I take more hours of chemistry than any other subject, spend the majority of my day in the Chemistry department, and associate myself with many fellow science nerds. From the unfortunate laughter resulting from knowing that you made a horrific mistake on your take home quiz to roaring laughter due to lab work, I always seem to be laughing about chemistry.

Last week, the identity of our first unknown compound was due in organic chemistry lab. For many students, this was a time of incredibly high stress levels and constant anxiety attacks. Luckily, I had already turned in my lab report the week before, leaving me stress-free. During our biweekly Chemistry Club meeting, several people voiced their concerns about lab that week, more than likely just increasing the stress levels of everyone in the room. After the meeting, my friend looked up at our faculty adviser, Dr. Green and asked if she believed in her. Dr. Green proceeded to give my friend an uncomfortable look, remained silent, and walked out of the room. My friend tensed up and let out a laugh of discomfort, while I let out an incredibly loud belly-laugh at her expense. In retrospect, I feel like a terrible person for laughing so hard at my friend's pain and anxiety at that moment.

After this incident occurred, my friend and I went to talk to Dr. Green about lab and what just happened, and Dr. Green apparently did not even hear my friend's initial question after Chemistry Club. This eased the tension of my friend a little, but she was still not too happy with me because of my overreaction to the humor in that situation. While she laughed out of discomfort, I laughed because I was not in her situation and it initially appeared as though Dr. Green felt the same way. While the intent of my laughter was not malicious in nature, it was perceived as such by my friend, and she confronted me for intellectually subordinating her. I immediately felt terrible about the situation, although I could not control my laughter at the time. This situation brought out the negative side of humor as discussed in class and displayed it in a real-life scenario.

Things I find funny

http://www.zdouf.com/8797/the-best-of-the-internets-response-to-the-fifth-olympic-ring-not-opening/

https://31.media.tumblr.com/68ba4ca146a40769c69f469e6a42de02/tumblr_n0p5u6aDMf1rq56lvo1_1280.jpg

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sfN6fQH766E&feature=c4-overview&list=UUeNgRHpH7OHZetYjC5JZXGw

Why do people laugh?

This video attempts to explain why people laugh and what makes people laugh. Clearly, none of these individuals truly knows the answer to this question, but at least there is comedic value in their replies.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y1UvjVsiNRI

Learning Experiences: Part One

Last weekend, I was given the amazing opportunity to attend the American Chemical Society Leadership Institute with fifteen other undergraduates from around the world, alongside three hundred leaders in the chemical field. While I gave up two days of TCU education to go to the institute, I feel as though I learned more about myself and the subject I am passionate about in that time than I could ever learn in the classroom setting. I was able to attend workshops on engaging and motivating individuals, innovation, and soft skills, of which leadership is a part. There are some aspects of life that people cannot simply learn in  a college lecture. Sure, many parts of the institute were much like a lecture, but I also had the opportunity of interacting with individuals more than twenty years my senior and learning from them after sorting out their endless platitudes about how we are "the future of chemistry." In three days, I went from being the socially awkward students in the corner, to socializing with three current and former American Chemical Society presidents, helping professors from other universities learn how to work with undergraduate students, and collaborating with various divisions of the American Chemical Society that I have always been passionate about. In other words, I had a fairly decent weekend.

In regards to my education experiences at TCU, I learned something incredibly valuable: I am actually good at identifying unknown compounds in organic chemistry lab. For a course that has such a negative reputation from every person I talked to prior to taking it, it brings me abounding joy. Strangely enough, that lab has become my favorite science class this semester. I am fairly certain that my feelings about this course will remain constant, unless, of course, the identity of my first unknown is not N-ethylaniline. If that is the case, please disregard this entire paragraph.   

For my personal benefit, I decided to analyze myself and figure out how exactly I learn the best. I feel like sitting down and simply studying is an effective way to learn the material for an exam, but not for long-term learning and internalization of the material. For me, I have to be passionate about the material in order for me to learn it to any extent. While many do not know precisely what they are passionate about, I figured out how to recognize my passions. Whenever a subject infiltrates my mind randomly throughout the day, I become sensitive to noticing how the subject matter relates to daily life, and I attempt to understand everything I can about the subject, I am passionate about it. Fortunately, I am a person who does this in regards to countless subjects, both academic and otherwise, making me realize that I am an individual with a myriad of diverse passions ranging from chemistry to The Beatles, human rights, and the human condition. On a relevant side note, I have started noticing people laughing and immediately considering the reason why they are laughing. I suppose there is no such thing as having too many thoughts in your head, so I welcome this new subject to analyze in my daily life.

Literature and Civilizations

Well this is an extremely poorly transferred version of my group's video about literature and civilizations. Hopefully it will work. If not, I will provide highlights from the video. Wyatt asked the questions and I recorded.